Tag Archives: Trump

The Evolving Pledge

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for all Americans, and this is so important to me. (Nov 6, 2016, New York City)

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for all Americans, and this is so important to me.

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for all Americans as long as they’re here legally.

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for Americans as long as they’re skilled and here legally.

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for Americans as long as they’re skilled and here legally, until I’m able to get rid of DACA.

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for Americans as long as they’re skilled rich and here legally, until I’m able to get rid of DACA.

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for Americans as long as they’re rich and here legally, until I’m able to get rid of DACA now that I’ve gotten rid of DACA.

I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for Americans as long as they’re rich and white and here legally, now that I’ve gotten rid of DACA.

I pledge to every rich white citizen of our land that I will be president for rich white Americans as long as they’re rich and white and here legally.

I pledge to every rich white citizen of our land that I will be president for rich white Americans as long as they’re rich and white and here legally to those who align with my self-interests.

I pledge to every rich white citizen of our land who pays me that I will be president to those who align with my self-interests pay me.

I pledge to every rich white citizen who pays me that I will be president to those who pay me while telling me that they love me.

I pledge to every rich white citizen who pays me that I will be president to those who pay me while telling me that they still love me. And this is so important to me.

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Core Values

Could a person’s core values be altered by appealing to even deeper core values?

For example, if we were to grab a completely random president of America off of the street and suddenly say to him, “I’d like to redirect all of the funding for your immigrant wall towards replacing confederate memorials…with flattering statues of you,” could that president be convinced to abandon his racism in favor of his vanity?


We see what we want

Today’s CNN headline: “Little to stop Trump from bombing North Korea”

So my first thought was “Who is this General Little and is he courageous enough to stand up against our Commander in Chief’s unstable shenanigans?”

And then it hit me like a gut punch.


Legal Nonsense

I’m no lawyer, but should the lawyers of the lawyers of our esteemed president start thinking about retaining their own personal lawyers, in the event that this president suddenly decide to accuse said lawyers’ lawyers of nefarious political machinations while representing the lawyers representing the interests of our esteemed president, during this coming December’s impeachment proceedings?


Leadership Index

Step 1: Create a list of 10 key enemies in your life, ranked from mild antagonist to lifelong arch-nemesis. Assign corresponding numerical value to each enemy on your list.

Superman Example:
1.Street thug #368
2.Mob boss #184

9.General Zod
10.Lex Luther

Step 2: Removing all logistics, think of one impactful accomplishment that:
1. Would matter enormously to you on a personal level
2. Would benefit all of humankind over the long term, instead of the short term
3. Would be granted extensive international media coverage, should it be accomplished.
If you can’t think of anything which satisfies all three criteria, then give yourself a 0 and skip to step 5

Superman Example: Reversing climate change

Step 3: Set a baseline by taking mildest antagonist in your list. Pretend that you’ve successfully completed your chosen accomplishment, by yourself and yourself alone. Then consider whether you’d be would be willing to give up all credit for that accomplishment to your antagonist, in perpetuity, with no possibility of ever correcting the mistaken perception.
If you answer NO, then give yourself a score of 0 and skip to step 5.

Step 4: If you answer YES, then divide the numerical assignment of that antagonist by 10, then move on to the next person in your list. Repeat the assessment and calculation, while retaining the highest value between the newest value and all previous value(s) calculated thus far.
If at any point you answer NO, then retain your highest calculated value and move on to Step 5.

Step 5: The value that you have at this point your official Leadership Index. Feel free to add it to your resume.

Superman Example: Superman would give credit for reversing climate change to anyone so long as the world remains safe, so he gets a full 10/10 = 1.
President Trump Example: 0 for multiple reasons.


Brain surgeon

If I were to be told today that I’m now a brain surgeon, and then also told that I won’t get to be anything other than a brain surgeon for another four years, then I suppose the first thing I’d do is procrastinate. A lot.

First I’d brag about how I somehow bypassed all formal training and education to get to here, until one of the nurses finally tells me to shut up, then literally drags me to my first operation.

Then I’d yell something like “I’m good at this!” (hoping it’s true) before flailing around aimlessly in an repressed state of panic. Maybe turn some knobs on the anesthesia equipment. Maybe hold the defibrillators to my chest and make an inappropriate joke. Maybe surf the news or tweet from my phone until someone asks me why I’m bringing unsterilized devices into an operating room. I might lash out at that nurse for speaking to me, the brain surgeon, in such a rude way. You know, to buy myself more time.

Then, after seeing that others are still watching, and waiting, I might pitifully whisper that “surgery is a lot harder than I expected,” vainly hoping for someone to come over with a hug. And maybe hope for that someone to say “aww, well then let me take over for you.”

Eventually, it’ll become fairly obvious that I just can’t pick up that scalpel, not when a precious life is at stake. So I’d probably wind up nobly apologizing to the room, before resigning from my position. Everyone would applaud me for having the courage and conviction and self-awareness to realize my own limitations.

Afterwards I’d celebrate my decision with a glass of scotch, and then maybe hit the links.


Cheers, an original sitcom

Setting: A bar in Boston

Cast:

• Bill Malone – Owner and bartender of Cheers. Laid back and notorious for smooth-talking women. But deep down, his kind and generous heart makes him tremendously loyal to both his friends and his bar.

• Hilary Chambers – Sophisticated, upper-class academic with an on/off relationship with Bill Malone. Has initial difficulty identifying herself with her bar patrons due to her somewhat snobbish personality. Leaves the bar scene to pursue other interests, but not before her tremendous heart affords her a terrific fresh perspective on life.

• George “Coach” Pantusso – A slightly senile co-bartender, easily deceived and let into undesirable situations, which often put the bar at stake. But deep down, his tremendous heart endears him to his friends, and his terrific love for the bar can only be described as amazing.

• Ronald Peterson – A bar regular, popular and always ready to engage difficult situations with a perfectly timed quip. His tremendous, terrific heart makes him so classy and amazing that everyone yells his first name whenever he enters the room.

• Jimmy Clavin – Often ridiculed for his honest yet unwelcome observations, this know-it-all bar regular is often found reciting facts that nobody wants to hear. Though fellow bar patrons will never admit it his bigly, beautiful nature makes him a classy and tremendously amazing member of their terrific inner circle.

• Barack Crane – The bar’s resident psychiatrist with a soothing voice and an analytical mind, he is the calm, ever-present voice of reason that his friends rely on for guidance. But though his fantastic, tremendously terrific advice might sometimes lead to bigly shenanigans, beautiful and amazing people still love him for his classy heart.

• George W Boyd – Somewhat clueless bartender with close ties to Coach, his predecessor. Often misunderstands conversations in the room, but has good intentions overall. Similar to his beautiful, classy predecessor, possesses a tremendous, bigly heart that is fantastically reflected in his amazing, terrific faith in friends.

• Donald Colcord – Multi-millionaire industrialist, plotting a hostile takeover of the company which owns the bar.

• Ivanka Howe – Strong and independent. Has an initial relationship with Donald Colcord, but in light of Donald Colcord’s eventual arrest and prison sentence, realizes that she’s in actually love with an American plumber. Discovers an amazing willingness to reach hugely across class divides in a tremendous way, to give her fantastic, bigly heart to a classy lower-income American, thereby proving that she’s a tremendous member of the beautiful, terrific Cheers family.