Blammo!

If I were a newly minted commander-in-chief who’d just had my hand slapped after attempting to impose a controversial travel ban upon a nation founded (and largely maintained) by immigrants, I’d likely opt for a somewhat sneakier approach in my second go-around. Here’s what my blueprint would look like:

STEP 1: Pick an ethnic group that’s stereotypically the least likely to organize protests against my actions. We’ll call this Group A.
STEP 2: Impose a “voluntary” request for personal information (e.g. a social media handle), targeted only towards Group A members, with reassurances of no negative consequences should a Group A individual decline my request for information.
STEP 3: After a soak period, impose the exact same request on Group B (i.e. ethnic groups from countries that don’t support my business interests), citing Group A as precedent.
STEP 4: Start to impose negative consequences if individuals decline my requests, for Group A only.
STEP 5: Start to impose negative consequences if individuals decline my requests, for Group B. There’s precedent.
STEP 6: Enjoy a weekend of golf at my favorite retreat.
STEP 7: Strike all references to “voluntary” from the rules, for Group A only.
STEP 8: Strike all references to “voluntary” from the rules, for Group B. There’s precedent.
STEP 9: Very publicly come to the personal realization that it’s ethically inappropriate to target specific groups for discrimination. Publicly expand the rule to the general populace. Mark this as a public holiday celebrating my accomplishment. No. Celebrating me. And only me. In fact, I’ll have to introduce a specific law that prevents anyone and anything from sharing this tremendous holiday, in perpetuity.
STEP 10: Very privately grant special exceptions to the top 2%, whomever supports my business interests and donates generously to my 2020 campaign.
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…………….wait for it……………
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……………………… Blammo!

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