Obsession

A is for a-a-apple! Oh ok, a-a-animal.

B is for b-b-banana! Ok right, b-b-bbear.

C is for c-c-candy! No? C-c-cars? …how about c-c-cats? Ok.

D is for d-d-daddy wants to stop talking about animals today, buddy. Can we stop talking about animals? Fine. D-d-dog.

E is for e-e-ever think about playing with those toy robots we got you? No? Sure sure, e-e-eelephants.

F is for f-f-flutes that make beautiful, breathtaking music. Want to hear some engaging flute music? No, we’re not watching that flamingo video again. Please stop whining.

G is for g-g-giraffe. Sigh.

H is for h-h-hippo. Happy?

I is for i-i-ice cream. Want to go get some ice cream? Sure we can go get some ice cream, and maybe talk about…no you can’t bring your stuffed iguana, it’ll get dirty. No then. No. No. Please stop whining.

J is for j-j-jaguars would jump off a bridge if they heard you talk about animals as much as I do, buddy. Uh…yeah to swim with dolphins, sure.

K is for k-k-kites. Want to go fly a kite? No? What if I tied a kitten to it? Yeah, I figured. No we’re not doing that, I was k-k-kidding.

L is for l-l-llama. Yes, I know you know about llamas. Please don’t spit on the carpet, son.

M is for m-m-momma hey momma I think our adorable son wants to recite the alphabet with you momma momma are you sure need to run errands hey momma are you sure we need groceries today wait momma I really don’t mind going to get those groceries – and she’s gone. No I don’t know why she was running, buddy. M-m-monkeys.

N is for n-n-nope. Nope that’s it, I’m done. I’m on strike. Yes, daddy’s on strike. Strike means I’m not going to do something anymore. Because I’m tired. That’s right, no more talking about animals. Strike means strike. Yes exactly, like your “Animal Strike at the Zoo” book. Where is it? It’s over there, under your book about animals in the mitten. No that’s your lion roar counting book. No that’s “Polar bear polar bear what do you hear”. No that’s your stuffed shark, here let me show you. No no wait, I didn’t agree to read it. Please, no. Please, no I was just showing…please stop whining. Ok ok, just once. Please. Just this one. Just these two. Ok here’s the deal. if I agree to read all three of these books, then can we stop talking about animals and go play with your robots later? OK, now we’re talking!

….O is for o-o-octopus.

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