When someone asks you to “put the laundry in the laundry”, he/she is asking you to:
A. Take the dirty clothes out of the laundry basket, and put them in the washing machine.
B. Take the dry clean clothes out of the dryer, and put them into the laundry basket.
C. Pick the dirty clothes up off of the floor, and put them into the laundry basket.
D. Stare blankly until she rolls her eyes and does it herself.
E. Do something with your hard-earned drug money.
After completely succeeding in an wildly lucrative career of whatever it is I think I do for a living, I’ve finally decided to pursue my one and only true passion – singing/songwriting. More specifically, singing/songwriting contemporary holiday music that’s doesn’t quite fit conventional molds of the pretentious drivel you listen to in shopping malls. Here’s just a small taste of the originality that I’ll be bringing to this artistic genre (note that I’ve purposefully left in my prior edits so that you might experience the progressive mind of true lyrical genius):
In Bethlehem New York Holy city Concrete jungle where snowflakes dreams tumble down are made of gingerbread of
There’s a cozy fireplace waiting twinking hope in the skies nothing nothin’ to fear to stop you from chasin’ you can’t do Walkin’ through West Village, now Now you’re in Times Square Chinatown The Big New York
These streets will fill you with cheer hope love make you love feel like a natural man brand spankin’ new The coffee Big Apple lights will quench excite inspire Santa you
Let’s sing a song for be merry and drink plagiarize hear it for the East Coast New York, and the West Coast, New York, and Christmas time, New York